Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Unveiling UN-man

Zoe Zane here, reporting for the Weekly Planetoid News Network. There’s a new hero here in Bigopolis, and he’s just apprehended a gang of thugs who may be connected to one of the city’s top crime syndicates. He seemed to appear out of nowhere when the alleged gunmen were making their escape from the First Bigopolis Bank and Trust Company (FiBBATCO).

Moments after this strange visitor showed up, all the stolen cash vanished from the robbers’ hands and then rematerialized inside the vault of the FiBBATCO Building. I’m hoping the new superhero will consent to an interview...Oh, here he is now...Uh, excuse me, sir, are you responsible for the miraculous recovery of the FiBBATCO cash?

“I am. I just moved here to the big city, and felt it was time to reveal myself to the people of earth.”

Oh! So you are not a native of our world?

“No. I was born on the planet Dript-on. It’s a rather dreary world where it’s constantly raining. I moved here mostly for the sunshine.”

Did you visit any other planets before deciding to settle on earth?

“Oh, sure...let me see. I took a short siesta on Napt-on, got bitten by flying wolves on Nipt-on, nearly lost my footing on Tript-on, got tied up by vines on Strapt-on, was covered with crawling weevils on Crept-on, chased by giants on Stept-on…”

Wow! That’s quite a journey! Ever visit Krypton?

“Superman’s planet? Actually, I did stay there awhile before it went kaboom. It had this wonderful health spa...I took a week-long cleansing treatment after my visit to Crapt-on.”

I can understand THAT!

“Now THERE’S a planet where ya gotta watch your step!”

So, what should we call you? I see you have an insignia on your costume, like a “U” and an “N”...are you with the United Nations?

“Nope. U-N is actually my superhero name: I am...the UN-man. The Un-doer of Crime and Criminals!”

Impressive! So, I may call you “UN-man”?

“Yep. That’s me! Whatever bad guys do, I can UN-do.”

And that explains the disappearing, reappearing moolah?

“Exactly. I simply close my eyes and concentrate on whatever was done in the last minute or so, and it undoes itself.”

That’s a very unique ability! Do you have other super-powers? Do you fly, for example?

“No need for that...I just undo the fabric of space-time, and zap myself from place to place, like this…”

Now, where did he...OH! There you are!

“Neat trick, huh?”

Very!

“Of course, you need to be able to SEE where you’re zapping to, or you might end up where I did...on CRAPT-ON!”

Or inside a person, or a solid object…?

“Or in the middle of a Clinton or Trump rally!”

Well, I can see the criminals of Bigopolis are in for a real hard time when you perform your feats of derring-do!

“Derring-UNdo, actually.”

Right. I see you’re wearing a mask. Is that to disguise your secret identity?

“Indeed. If evildoers like Rex Ruthless discovered my alter ego, they could kidnap my significant others and threaten harm to them if I refused to do their bidding!”

Do...do you have a significant other, UN-man?

“Well...not anymore. There was a gal I was fond of years ago; we met on the Klingon planet…”

Too possessive, was she?

“WAY too possessive! She was another reason I settled here. Women here are much more down-to-earth, so to speak. No more serious attachments for yours truly!”

Must’ve broken her heart?

“Naw--I just un-did her memory of our breaking up. Left her a very tender suicide note and then zapped myself outa there.”

Still seems kinda heartless to me…

“Hey, you don’t know how clingy Klingon ladies can be! Besides, taking one’s life over a love affair is a real status symbol there--for the survivor, that is…”

Anyway, we DO appreciate you choosing our li’l old planet.

“Yeah, I feel pretty much at home...especially when it rains a lot.”

Your un-doing power must come in handy for you at times…?

“Actually, I’ve taken a superhero oath NEVER to use my special gift for personal gain...well, never AGAIN, that is.”

C’mon, haven’t you been tempted to be just a tiny bit naughty?

“Oh, I admit I had my share of peccadilloes during my younger, wilder, pre-oath days…”

Such as?

“Like in 7th grade when I un-did Mr. Hoggett’s trousers after he’d emerged from the men’s room…”

Ooh, the kids must have loved that!

“Then there were those wardrobe malfunctions at the Paris fashion show in ‘05…”

YOU caused those??

“Just a button here and a zipper there, and...oops!”

Well, UN-man, speaking for all the women of Bigopolis, I’m glad you have mended your ways.

“Right you are! Unless you are a miscreant masterminding malicious mayhem, you have nothing to fear from ME!”

Can’t you give us a little hint about your secret identity?

“You mean like Clark Kent admitting that he’s Sup- --uh oh!”

You’re kidding! Really??

“Mmmmm...concentrating...Poose-zee-gnittim-dat-neck-cralk-kyle-neem-ooee…”

Can’t you give us a little hint about your secret...wait...what just happened?

“Uhh...nothing!”

You just undid something you said, didn’t you?

“I’m afraid so...just a little slip of the tongue. There are some secrets, Ms. Zane, that should never be given away. Especially to a citywide audience!”

So...no hints about who you are under that mask?

“Sorry, Zoe. Unveiling the UN-man would be UNsafe and UNwise.”

Doesn’t anybody else know your secret? Any wisecracking assistant or a youthful sidekick?

“Hmm. I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe I should start taking applications. Now that I’m out in the open, I might at least need someone to answer the phone.”

Do you think that the crime syndicates will be out gunning for you now? I’m sure that shady industrialist Rex Ruthless will be seeking ways to take you out of commission.

“He already HAS attacked me several times! You just aren’t aware of those ‘cause I undid them and zapped out of harm’s way. It’s a kind of cat-and-mouse game. We each try to stay a step or two ahead of the other. One of these days, no doubt things will come to a head.”

So, you’ve already been using your powers in our midst without our knowing about it?

“Certainly. I’ve been doing a good deed here, stopping a bad one there, then un-doing people’s memories of them, just to get practiced up for my big city debut! When I ran across the creeps who were pulling that bank heist, I figured today was a good day to finally get noticed.”

Well, now that you’re a public figure, how do you plan to go about offering your services? Can the police summon you with a special phone or a signal in the clouds?

“Naw, I’ll just listen to my ultra-mega-super-advanced police scanner. It lets me spy on all the law enforcement agencies...FBI...CIA...IRS...CNN…”

Good grief, UN-man! Is that even legal? Where did you come across a device like that??

“Where else? The planet Snoopt-on.”


MNA
10/25/2016


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Just That Simple

As human beings, it is often difficult for us to admit or accept the fact that we live in a kind of binary, on-and-off, yes-and-no, black and white world. We insist on more choices that offer us the freedom of keeping our options open: of avoiding binding commitments.

The wedding my wife and I attended today was the old-fashioned kind. One man and one woman stood there before a preacher, dressed in virginal white, repeating solemn vows to remain faithful to each other, “forsaking all others...’til death us do part.” This form of covenant, a no-turning-back commitment of sexual exclusivity, was devised by man and woman’s Creator for the purpose of populating the world, forming stable homes and thus, stable societies...

And for the sublime additional purpose of embodying a joyful, transcendent, growing and deepening attachment known as LOVE.

Married love between man and woman takes place on what may be regarded as a horizontal plane. But the urges we feel both in our physical bodies and in our spiritual beings speak to us of a kind of ought-ness when it comes to marriage--the need to be bound to another. Another like ourselves and yet unlike ourselves. One who will complement and complete us, yet fully accept us as we are. One who will then challenge and inspire us to become much more than we are.

That kind of desire cannot be adequately explained on a purely horizontal basis. It comes from another direction. Another place. Another Mind. Another’s divine design.

The human spiritual experience is meant to be very similar to this deep urge to join oneself to another person. Augustine, the bishop-philosopher of old, is famous for saying that God created us for Himself and thus, we are restless until we find our rest in Him. Notwithstanding the atheist who insists that human personhood is merely a chance convergence of random chemicals, any serious student of humanity will admit that, as a race, we are incurably impelled in the direction of the metaphysical. As a species, we KNOW that there is Someone “out there.”

On the physical plane, a man desires more than just ANY woman to supply the proper equipment for mating and mutual stimulation and progeny. A man wants to bond on a transcendent, emotional, spiritual level. Because he knows himself as more than a biological machine, he insists on something much deeper and higher than a mechanistic marriage.

The same thing applies on a spiritual plane between a human being and the universe. Instinctively, a man or woman knows that Someone is there, beyond the visible, tangible, measurable realm of physical experience. Someone who created, who controls, who caters to our needs, who cares for our souls. Someone we want very much to know about, and to KNOW.

The big problem I face, however, is one of ability. Do I have the power to transcend the physical and explore the metaphysical so as to find this transcendent Being and be joined to Him? Yes, many have attempted such a journey, whether in their own imaginations, or through chemical or emotional enhancements, or by dabbling with demonic powers. The results have often been disappointing...dangerous...doubtful...even tragic.

Plus, what kind of reference point do I have to measure the “truth” I find during such subjective spiritual forays into the unknown? How much of the data I collect could be merely imaginative self-talk between my conscious and subconscious minds? How much of it could be deception or demonic propaganda from the “other side”? Who is even qualified to sift through such findings?

What so many people find too simple and obvious to grasp is that this Someone we all know must dwell in the realm beyond our own, is not hiding from us, requiring us to find and learn of Him by our own unaided efforts.

He has been in contact with us for thousands of years. He has spoken to us through the ordinary device of human language. He has performed significant, miraculous acts throughout several millenia of human history. He has actually entered into our history personally by taking on a genuine human nature. He has divided our calendars into two major divisions, B.C. and A.D. He has even offered Himself as a suffering, dying, rising, ascending God-man, so that our cosmic crimes against our loving Creator can be forgiven and forgotten!

One of the God-man’s apostles, Paul, who previously hunted down Christians to their death, eventually gave a speech to the Greek philosophers on Mars Hill in the city of Athens. Paul’s audience was made up of men who loved to “keep their options open.” They were described as doing nothing but discussing the latest ideas--the popular theories of the day. Paul admitted that they were all quite religious. He had observed the plethora of idol shrines lining the streets of Athens, and had been greatly disturbed by them.

Paul knew what was missing in their idolatrous, speculative searching: they lacked the direct, black-and-white, take-it-or-leave-it revelation of the true God. These Athenians may have had access to the Hebrew scriptures that predicted the coming of the God-man. But Paul had the first-hand knowledge of Jesus Christ that could turn their searches in the right direction.

The truth Paul shared with them amounted to this: There is only one God (not many), He dwells everywhere (not in temples or single localities), He created all things (including people), He wants all people to turn to Him in repentance, He will bring the whole world of people to final judgment, and the Judge He has appointed is One who was raised from the dead.

That is only one historical account from the Book our God has given us. Either we can accept the Holy Bible as His infallible, reliable source of revelation about Himself and His will for us, or we can reject it.

Those who have decided that some or all of this Book cannot be trusted, truly have NO reliable authority by which they can make such a decision. They are simply choosing NOT to choose, which is just a fancy way of saying “no” to God’s revelation. They are content to fall back on their own fallible, unaided attempts to “find God” by mere human means.

Do you strongly suspect that Someone is out there for you spiritually? Believe it or not, this thing is NOT complicated. Someone IS there. He wants you to turn to Him even more than you ever could want it. He explained Himself and His desires for you in a Book called the Holy Bible.

He proved His love for sinners by sending His Son Jesus. The main character of His Book.

Read about Him. Meet Him. Bow to Him. Trust Him. Follow Him.

It really is just that simple.

MNA
10/8/2016


Just That Simple

As human beings, it is often difficult for us to admit or accept the fact that we live in a kind of binary, on-and-off, yes-and-no, black and white world. We insist on more choices that offer us the freedom of keeping our options open: of avoiding binding commitments.

The wedding my wife and I attended today was the old-fashioned kind. One man and one woman stood there before a preacher, dressed in virginal white, repeating solemn vows to remain faithful to each other, “forsaking all others...’til death us do part.” This form of covenant, a no-turning-back commitment of sexual exclusivity, was devised by man and woman’s Creator for the purpose of populating the world, forming stable homes and thus, stable societies...

And for the sublime additional purpose of embodying a joyful, transcendent, growing and deepening attachment known as LOVE.

Married love between man and woman takes place on what may be regarded as a horizontal plane. But the urges we feel both in our physical bodies and in our spiritual beings speak to us of a kind of ought-ness when it comes to marriage--the need to be bound to another. Another like ourselves and yet unlike ourselves. One who will complement and complete us, yet fully accept us as we are. One who will then challenge and inspire us to become much more than we are.

That kind of desire cannot be adequately explained on a purely horizontal basis. It comes from another direction. Another place. Another Mind. Another’s divine design.

The human spiritual experience is meant to be very similar to this deep urge to join oneself to another person. Augustine, the bishop-philosopher of old, is famous for saying that God created us for Himself and thus, we are restless until we find our rest in Him. Notwithstanding the atheist who insists that human personhood is merely a chance convergence of random chemicals, any serious student of humanity will admit that, as a race, we are incurably impelled in the direction of the metaphysical. As a species, we KNOW that there is Someone “out there.”

On the physical plane, a man desires more than just ANY woman to supply the proper equipment for mating and mutual stimulation and progeny. A man wants to bond on a transcendent, emotional, spiritual level. Because he knows himself as more than a biological machine, he insists on something much deeper and higher than a mechanistic marriage.

The same thing applies on a spiritual plane between a human being and the universe. Instinctively, a man or woman knows that Someone is there, beyond the visible, tangible, measurable realm of physical experience. Someone who created, who controls, who caters to our needs, who cares for our souls. Someone we want very much to know about, and to KNOW.

The big problem I face, however, is one of ability. Do I have the power to transcend the physical and explore the metaphysical so as to find this transcendent Being and be joined to Him? Yes, many have attempted such a journey, whether in their own imaginations, or through chemical or emotional enhancements, or by dabbling with demonic powers. The results have often been disappointing...dangerous...doubtful...even tragic.

Plus, what kind of reference point do I have to measure the “truth” I find during such subjective spiritual forays into the unknown? How much of the data I collect could be merely imaginative self-talk between my conscious and subconscious minds? How much of it could be deception or demonic propaganda from the “other side”? Who is even qualified to sift through such findings?

What so many people find too simple and obvious to grasp is that this Someone we all know must dwell in the realm beyond our own, is not hiding from us, requiring us to find and learn of Him by our own unaided efforts. He has been in contact with us for thousands of years. He has spoken to us through the ordinary device of human language. He has performed significant, miraculous acts throughout several millenia of human history. He has actually entered into our history personally by taking on a genuine human nature. He has divided our calendars into two major divisions, B.C. and A.D. He has even offered Himself as a suffering, dying, rising, ascending God-man, so that our cosmic crimes against our loving Creator can be forgiven and forgotten!

One of the God-man’s apostles, Paul, who previously hunted down Christians to their death, eventually gave a speech to the Greek philosophers on Mars Hill in the city of Athens. Paul’s audience was made up of men who loved to “keep their options open.” They were described as doing nothing but discussing the latest ideas--the popular theories of the day. Paul admitted that they were all quite religious. He had observed the plethora of idol shrines lining the streets of Athens, and had been greatly disturbed by them.

Paul knew what was missing in their idolatrous, speculative searching: they lacked the direct, black-and-white, take-it-or-leave-it revelation of the true God. These Athenians may have had access to the Hebrew scriptures that predicted the coming of the God-man. But Paul had the first-hand knowledge of Jesus Christ that could turn their searches in the right direction. The truth Paul shared with them amounted to this: There is only one God (not many), He dwells everywhere (not in temples or single localities), He created all things (including people), He wants all people to turn to Him in repentance, He will bring the whole world of people to final judgment, and the Judge He has appointed is One who was raised from the dead.

That is only one historical account from the Book our God has given us. Either we can accept the Holy Bible as His infallible, reliable source of revelation about Himself and His will for us, or we can reject it. Those who have decided that some or all of this Book cannot be trusted, truly have NO reliable authority by which they can make such a decision. They are simply choosing NOT to choose, which is just a fancy way of saying “no” to God’s revelation. They are content to fall back on their own fallible, unaided attempts to “find God” by mere human means.

Do you strongly suspect that Someone is out there for you spiritually? Believe it or not, this thing is NOT complicated. Someone IS there. He wants you to turn to Him even more than you ever could want it. He explained Himself and His desires for you in a Book called the Holy Bible.

He proved His love for sinners by sending His Son Jesus. The main character of His Book.

Read about Him. Meet Him. Bow to Him. Trust Him. Follow Him.

It really is just that simple.

MNA
10/8/2016