When I Left

 

When I left, I thought the world

would smile and welcome me,

That my wealth would buy me friends

when I at last was free.

When I left, the thrills of earth

were beckoning and bright. . .

Surely in some far-off land

I'd find my soul's delight.

When I left, my father's love

seemed common and naive;

His demands seemed tiresome for

what wealth I would receive.

Bristling at his patient smile,

I left with what was mine.

Soon my least regret was drowned

by women, song and wine.

When I left, my brother's rights

were more than I could bear;

While he lived, I couldn't hope

to claim his "lion's share"!

Why should I be destined by

some accident of birth?

When I left, I vowed one day

to blind them by my worth!

When I left, I just assumed

sweet fate would take a hand. . .

But when the music stopped, I found

I'd have to pay the band.

When I woke from childish dreams,

I faced the grown-up price.

Though the world welcomed me once,

it would not do it twice.

Finally, that birthplace I loathed

was all that I had left.

From a prince to feeding swine,

of hope and pride bereft.

When I left the world behind

with nothing left but need,

Back at home, I hoped, at least

from hunger I'll be freed. . .

When I left to stagger home,

good memories came to mind:

Many times my father had

to starving souls been kind--

Let them work or glean his fields

to scale poverty's slope. . .

No claim to inheritance,

mere mercy was my hope!

Surely, I'd had every right

to squander what was mine;

I could claim I had been robbed,

that fortune failed to shine. . .

But, somehow I knew this was

my sole chance to return.

That I had no hope but him

I'd spent my all to learn.

When I left, I'd left behind

the blessing of my birth;

My best gift I'd thrown away

to be a child of earth. . .

Humbly now, retracing steps

which proudly I once strode,

Home became a place to beg,

instead of an abode.

When he left, running to me,

I feared he came with wrath;

Servants following at his heels,

he hurried down that path!

Whispering, "I knew you'd come,"

beaming through tears of joy,

Kissing and embracing me,

he cried, "Welcome, my boy!"

Stunned, I stammered, "Father, I

have sinned--disgraced your name!"

But he introduced me 'round

without a trace of shame:

"It's my son! Alive again!"

my father crowed aloud.

"Bring his robe! His shoes! His ring!

Go! Rustle up a crowd!"

"Let the fattened calf be killed!

Let revelry begin!"

Now that I was lost and found,

he pardoned what I'd been.

While astonished brothers gaze

in wonderment, I know:

When I left my father's house,

he longed GRACE to bestow.

MNA

c. 2000